084: Setting Boundaries to Maintain Inner Peace with Dana Skaggs
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Setting boundaries is easier said than done. Most of us struggle to identify when they’re needed and are often faced with resistance from those we try to create them.
But setting healthy boundaries allows us to have uncomplicated, peaceful, and loving relationships with others. I’m thrilled to share this conversation with Dana Skaggs, “The Queen of Boundaries.”
Dana has a Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology and is a licensed psychotherapist. Dana is here to share the importance of keeping your peace by understanding that setting boundaries is not rude, how others interact with you can be retrained, and why how someone else perceives you is not your responsibility.
Whether you’re struggling with complex family relationships or need an extra push to set boundaries at work, this episode will help you identify where you’re struggling and how to address it.
Who Is Dana Skaggs?
Dana Skaggs has been called "The Queen of Boundaries" because she’s very adept at helping people understand how their lack of healthy boundaries is contributing to their problems.
Dana has a master’s degree in clinical psychology and is a licensed psychotherapist. She has been in private practice for 15 years specializing in anxiety and adjustment issues along with trauma work. She’s also a board member for the Intermountain Psychological Association for 4 years and has been elected for 2 more.
Dana is a frequent guest on WJHL Daytime Tri-Cities discussing how to navigate the emotional terrain of everyday problems. She also contributed to the article “Second Opinions: How You Can Leverage Mindset to Change Behaviour” in the Journal “A Plus” from the Hong Kong Institute of Certified Public Accountants.
Key Takeaways
- We can’t control what others think
- Dealing with difficult family relationships
- Other people’s emotions are not your responsibility
- Retraining people & setting better expectations
- How to identify manipulative behavior
- Why do people struggle with setting boundaries?
- Recognizing when boundaries are necessary
Mic Drop Moments
- “So many people are fearful of boundaries, but I see boundaries as a way of having a healthy, loving relationship with people in your life.” – April Roberts
- “If someone we know well expects something from us, it’s because we’ve trained them to expect that, which means we can retrain. But if we make a 180-degree change, they will resist. We need to show grace.” – Dana Skaggs
- “Whoever holds the upset has the responsibility to speak: it’s not someone else’s job to read our mind.” – Dana Skaggs
- “When we’re in healthy relationships, we don’t really think about them. But when something is bothering us, and we’re feeling anxious, upset, nervous, that is an indication that something is going on boundary-wise.” – Dana Skaggs
- “Other people’s peace is not yours to keep. You can’t keep someone else’s peace, because it’s in their brain. Your peace is the one you need to be keeping.” – Dana Skaggs
Resources
- DanaSkaggs.com
- Follow Dana Skaggs on LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram
- Take the Healthier Boundaries Assessment
- Yolanda Harris
- Ed Mylett
Follow Us on Social!
- Vixen Gathering Instagram: @vixengathering
- April Roberts Instagram: @aprilrochelleroberts
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- Vixen Gathering on LinkedIn
