Girl Talk IVF Journeys

035: Girl Talk: IVF Journeys and Having Kids in Your 40s with Richelle Carey, Rabia Ilahi, and Dr. Amy Novotny

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Most women dream about getting married, having kids, and raising a family from a very young age. But our lives don’t always work out the way we envisioned when we were younger. The reality is more and more women are making the decision to go through IVF or adoption to have kids and start their families.

And today’s episode is all about the incredible women who have been through an IVF or adoption journey. I invited Richelle Carey, Rabia Ilahi, and Dr. Amy Novotny, three inspiring and successful women, to share their experiences of becoming mothers in their 40s and 50s.

We often see the results and little bundles of joy, but rarely do you hear about the challenges of going through IVF, surrogacy, gestational carriers, and adoption that some women face. And I’m so thankful to be able to share the stories from these women today.

And if you ever wondered how a woman could be 6 months pregnant and not even know it, you’ll want to tune in to today’s episode.


Who are Richelle Carey, Rabia Ilahi, and Dr. Amy Novotny?

Rabia Ilahi is a psychotherapist and energy healer who has her own private practice in Houston, Texas. She specializes in relationships and family therapy, and has an M.A. in Marriage and Family Therapy from the University of Houston.

Richelle Carey is an Emmy Award-winning American broadcaster, journalist, host, and moderator specializing in international affairs and global politics. Carey occasionally anchors Al Jazeera’s hit DC-based show The Stream, which caters to a hybrid social and broadcast media audience. She was previously principal presenter at Al Jazeera in Doha, Qatar where she led the network’s coverage of major world events including; a coup attempt in Turkey, military offensive in Yemen and a global shutdown triggered by the Covid-19 pandemic.

Dr. Amy Novotny is the founder of the PABR (Pain Awareness Breathing Relief) Institute and focuses on pain, anxiety, and stress management using holistic methods. She’s an inspiring entrepreneur, telehealth consultant, and pain specialist. In her free time, she enjoys photography and running ultramarathons.


Key Takeaways 

  • Grieving a potential pregnancy
  • Deciding to have children as a single mother with IVF
  • Making sense of surrogacy laws
  • Navigating the legal process of gestational carriers
  • The impact IUI and IVF can have on your body
  • Freezing your eggs to have options in the future
  • Realizing you are capable of doing big things on your own
  • Is there a “right time” to have children?
  • Taking the pressure off of finding a significant other
  • Craving a father figure despite being a single mother by choice


The Difficult Challenges of an IVF Journey


Mic Drop Moments

  • “A lot of women are responding to the fact that I decided to do this single and not wait for this imaginary person that I was giving power over to for my life. I stopped waiting and just did it.” - Richelle Carey
  • “You don't know what your life is going to be. Be open to every possibility because any of us would have chosen this path to becoming a mother, but I know we're all really happy where we are, so just be open.” - Richelle Carey
  • “Know that you’re loved unconditionally, and believe that everything has happened for you because you are loved.” - Rabia Ilahi
  • “Whatever the hardest path is, go for it.” - Dr. Amy Novotny
  • “As soon as I decided to have a child, all the dating pressure went out the door. I no longer felt like I was settling, or trying to make something work when it just wasn’t the right fit.” - Dr. Amy Novotny




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