How and Why to Prioritize Transitioning Back Into the Feminine

This is the third blog in a four-part series that I’m writing about women in business. Each blog in the series focuses on VIBE, or Vixen in Business Energy. Make sure not to miss the rest by signing up for our blog here! 

Do you ever get home from work and find yourself barking at your partner? Demanding things of your children? Has a partner, child, or friend ever told you something along the lines of “I don’t work for you” or “you’re in boss/director mode”?

I own my own company in a male dominated industry and make decisions all day. Decision making, “getting shit done” and hitting the bottom line are activities that are rooted in male energy, as I’ve talked about in previous VIBE blogs. My work energy can be so masculine that mid-day texts to boyfriends have sounded nothing like what they’ve known of me—short, to the point, business-like. They’re completely devoid of the feminine qualities that men love about us—lightheartedness, flirtatiousness, fun. I’ve actually had to learn to put a smile on my face and breathe before responding to these types of texts. That’s how primed I am midday with masculine energy!

As I’ve mentioned before, we all have masculine and feminine energy and we all need both. But, women step into their best selves, their superpower, their best life when they spend more time in their feminine energy.

Understanding your partner, reacting compassionately to your children (while still influencing their actions), are feminine activities and after being at the office all day, you can move back into that energy before all hell breaks loose.

How I Transition

Transitioning between masculine and feminine energies looks different for everyone. I have to consciously do it throughout the day. Not everyone has to do this. When I’m directing my employees, I’m in masculine energy. But when I meet with clients (most of the time) I need to call on feminine energy. My clients want to know that they can trust me. That’s feminine energy. The one caveat to this is when clients want to review their portfolio performance. That’s analytic and results-based. That’s masculine energy.

When I make the transition from masculine to feminine energy during my work day I:

• Take deep breaths
• Put a smile on my face
• Get back into my heart and soften my physical body
• Eat a small piece of chocolate

I will say, I’m getting better at doing this with employees. I can definitely make the transition when we have longer interactions, but shorter interactions? Whew, that’s a challenge. Transitioning takes time and intention and when someone walks into your office when you’ve been doing something else, it’s often hard to move back into that feminine energy.

When the day is done and I want to shed that masculine energy, a 20-minute walk does the trick. I live near a park and before I get home each day, I stop and walk. Often, I walk barefoot on the grass. Not only does this feel good after a day in heels, but it also helps ground me. It brings me back to earth.
When I get home, I change into cozies. I love being cozy—I also love looking nice for work—but moving into cozy tells my brain, “It’s time to soften. You’re in a different environment and it needs something different from you.”

If I don’t go for a walk, I allow myself 20 minutes of transition time when I get home. This might mean flipping through a magazine, meditating, taking a shower or bath, or doing something I’m passionate about. I also love watching the sunset, but whether that correlates with transition time depends on the time of year. Finally, when I am home and not working, I close my home office door so that work is literally out of sight, out of mind.

Whatever I choose, it calms me down and helps me move back into the feminine qualities of love, compassion, reception and creativity.

How Other Women Transition

The interesting thing about transitioning from one energy to another is that men have been doing this for decades. Remember the fifties? When men would get home, grab a martini and the newspaper and sort of veg out for the next few hours? That’s transitioning. Only you can do it in 20 minutes and without alcohol. This is how other Vixens choose to transition:

• Painting. The key to this one, especially if you’re results-oriented (masculine energy) is to do it for fun and release, not to emulate Picasso
• Driving home from work. This one is great for some people, but it’s not for everyone. If being in your car equals road rage or activities that get your mind spinning rather than relaxing, choose something else
• Finding a private space. If there’s a place in your house that you just love and can have to yourself for a few minutes—a balcony or patio, a reading nook, somewhere in front of the fireplace—sitting there with tea and let your breath unwind you
• Moving. While walking and being outside are great for some, other people transition by moving differently. Yoga, tai chi, a quick run—these are all great
• Listening to music
• Cooking

Transitioning from masculine energy into the feminine after a long day of work can be simple. Nothing that I’ve listed above is hard, time consuming, or expensive. All of it will help you move back into your feminine energy.