How to Step Into Your Power: I Am, Not I Want to Be

feminine essence

This is the second blog in a four-part series that I’m writing about feminine essence. What it means. Why it matters. How to return to it. How to transition out of it. Make sure not to miss the rest by signing up for our blog here! 


When do you feel radiant?

Maybe it happens when you're well-dressed self walks into the courtroom and lays it down for your client.

Maybe it happens when you mic drop during a company pitch.

Maybe it’s that little day-end victory dance for crushing it with your kids.

Whatever your radiant moment is—and it can be combo of those, none of those, etc.—you know what radiance feels like.

It feels like you are at your best. Your smartest, happiest, most attuned with your body and most fluid in life. So how can you get more of that?

Who Are You? Ask Your Inner Child

I love watching my nieces and nephews just…be. It reminds me of when I was a kid. When I didn’t care what other people thought. When I felt fully present in the moment and in my body. When I knew, without a doubt, that I could do anything that I wanted to do.

When women move into their radiance, they feel this again.

I believe that God or Source or Universe made us exactly as he/she wanted us to be. The day that we become present on this earth, we inherently know ourselves and our divine purpose.

Think about when you were young. Think about the glorious fantasies you had of yourself conquering adventure or boardrooms or children. Think about how you pictured the woman who was capable of doing that. She stood straight, was confident, happy, kind, compassionate, steady and looked amazing however amazing fit into that picture.

When I work with women through Vixen, I often ask them to return to that version of themselves. The one that they had before they started taking on responsibilities and the thoughts and opinions of others. They always smile and look lighter when they recall this woman, the woman they “want” to be. The thing is, you are that woman. You are your radiance.

How to Become Your Radiance

In our last femininity blog, we talked about how learning to receive helps women move into their femininity, their true selves and how doing that brings you back to your true self.

When you learn how to receive, not only do you offer others the experience of giving—such a lovely feeling—but you also step further into your true radiance. Receive who you are!

Instead of talking about who you’d like to be, talk about that person as she is.

If you want to be a compassionate, independently wealthy restaurateur, talk about yourself that way. If you want to be a fairy godmother who wears Prada, talk about yourself that way.

The woman in you who is the woman you want to be, is already there. When you start talking about her and giving her air time, she will show up. You just have to give her permission to take the stage.


How to Discover Your True I Am (Your True Essence)

To step into your true I am, let’s compare and contrast who you want to be with how you show up in conversations (ie., how you talk about yourself):

  1. How do you talk about yourself when you are at a networking event? Write down three words you use to describe yourself.
  2. How do you talk about yourself at a social event? Write down three words you use to describe yourself.
  3. If someone asked you about your greatest strengths, what three words would you use?
  4. Now, list three ways you would describe the person you want to be
  5. What discrepancies did you notice?

Share them with us here!

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